Monday, July 31, 2006

BIT(TER) enemies

What's this, you say? At first glance, it appears that BIT took a weekend forray up north to NYC. However, in reality it is a photo from a website promoting something so sinister and evil that it chilled me to the very bone when I first came across it. This atrocious device is known as "The Bag Snagger," which is, according to its description, "a new tool for arborists and citizen tree pruners designed to remove plastic bags and other debris from trees." Who would want to do THAT?!

Well, I'll tell you who. BETTE MIDLER! That's right, the Divine Diva Miss M is leading a gang of NYC bag nazis called the New York Restoration Project on a mission to take away the very things that we hold dear. These people engage in nefarious activities, like taking bags out of trees, laboring under the belief "that clean and green neighborhoods are fundamental to the quality of life and that every community in New York City deserves an oasis of natural beauty." What's more natural and beautiful than a bag that gets caught in the branch of a tree? The wind blew it there. And the wind is natural. How can Ms. Midler claim to be a naturalist when she is so blatantly anti-wind?

Frighteningly, this anti-bag (and perhaps anti-wind) attitude is prevalent—The Bag Snagger has been profiled on NPR and Ian Frazier (another sworn enemy of BIT) has published his anti-bag blasphemy in the national media. BIT lovers shouldn't despair though. There are pro-BITters out there arguing for the cause. People like James Davies, who wrote the following response to Mr. Frazier's article on the website Islam in America: "I like plastic bags in trees i [sic] think they represent the times we live in, please stop removing them." At least some people have their heads on straight.

All this anti-BIT sentiment just goes to show you the darkness that lurks in the hearts of men (and Bette Midler) and that some people will stop at nothing to take away natural beauty, including using advanced technology. We at have one thing to say: in this fight you're either with us or you're against us. So what are you, a tree hugger or a bag lover?

(By the way, Little Willie John's original version of "Fever" is the best and way better than Peggy Lee's and especially Ms. Midler's.)

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Guest BIT: Heaving Melon

Bagsintrees is overjoyed to welcome our second guest bag contributor, Heaving Melon, who sends us this stylish specimen seen at S. Patterson Park Ave. and Gouch St.

And since we appreciated Melon's attention to detail in giving us this beauty's coordinates so much, we've decided to institute a new map feature so readers can experience these fine examples of Baltimore's unnatural beauty as a sort of living exhibit. Simply click on the map below to get directions from your home directly to the bag. Wow, how exciting!

But wait, there's more! Bagsintrees continues to inspire the masses, as evidenced by this poem penned by the mother of our newest bag lady, Charissa.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

CC: Eaton Street

Ok, ok, ok. She's been a huge fan. She's been instrumental in drumming up a supportive fan base. And she's even contributed two (now make that three) bags to the cause. And for her hard work and tireless devotion to, we're happy to make Charissa the newest member of the team. What a gal!

Hey, guess what?! You can be a contributer to BIT as well and enjoy all the benefits and fame that come with it. Just send us your bags!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Lonely bag

Monday, July 10, 2006

Guest BIT: Charissa

Charissa strikes again! For her second contribution to, the engaging authoress of Live from Bawlmer provides us with this exquisite specimen spotted on the sidewalks of Ellwood Ave. What a beauty. And dig her vertical style.

Want to be a BIT part of our lives (there's an Evan Dando joke in there somewhere...)? Do a guest BIT on!

Simply send us your best! Go on, you know you want to...

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

July 4th Special: Double bagging